The Wedding Industry has a Pressure Problem. Couples Need a Release.

Photo by: Victoria Saint Martin

The content influencer industry has made our world feel like a pressure cooker. Pressure to keep up. Pressure to have it all. Pressure to be endlessly “authentic” and “transparent.” Pressure to be effortless. Pressure to be cool. Pressure to be nice all the damn time.

The Wedding Industry has skillfully taken that pressure, bottled it, and hosed down every couple who has ever thought about getting married. We’ve so successfully taken FOMO, keeping up with the Joneses, perfectionism, and people-pleasing, and created an environment where couples are constantly being told to add one more thing, personalize one more detail, make one more person happy, and create one more experience. Before they know it they’re halfway through planning (and paying for) a wedding that they don’t even recognize as their own.

That’s not to say that wedding vendors are doing this maliciously. Most wedding vendors are artists who genuinely love what they do and believe that their specific art (whether that be florals, photographs, spreadsheets, or delicious apps) makes a couple’s wedding experience better. The problem: couples don’t need more options; they need a release.

So this post is your permission, couple, to open the release valve. 

Release the pressure to plan more experiences. Especially if you don’t have the resources (mental or financial to plan them)

Release the pressure to add one more contract. If it doesn’t matter TO YOU, it doesn’t deserve your money.

Release the pressure to please one more person. Whether that’s a family member or a vendor.

Release the pressure to spend more than you’re comfortable spending. This is marinating your wedding in regret.

Release the pressure to have your wedding to look like what you see on every vendor’s Instagram feed. Just like your IG, it’s a highlight reel. Not every wedding, or even every one of THEIR weddings, looks like that.

Release the pressure to be the liked couple. You don’t have to be liked by everyone. Especially in professional relationships. They can just be business agreements. You have to be respectful, communicate, and meet deadlines, but you don’t have to be everyone’s pal.

Release the pressure to be different. Personalized doesn’t have to equal unique.

Release the pressure to execute every trend. Not every trend is for every person and not every trend makes sense for every wedding.

Release the pressure to maximize every moment. It’s ok for you and your wedding to breathe a little.

The truth is, there is always going to be one more thing you can add, one more expectation you can try to meet, but you don’t HAVE to. Somewhere along the line, “optional” became “expected”. You can say no to the vendor that isn’t in your budget or on your priority list. You can say no to the trend you don’t like. You can say no to sales tactics that feel like pressure to you. You can say no to the expectation of being the couple every vendor wants to stay friends with after the fact. You can say no. 

And if you’re having trouble saying that two letter word with your whole chest, you can blame me. “A wedding planner told me on her blog that I don’t need this.”

If you’re looking for a planning experience that feels like pressure and more like permission, I’d love to talk with you. You can schedule a call here.